So you’ve managed to get a date with the girl of your dreams and luckily she has agreed to date you again. The relationship is going well, and perhaps you have started sleeping together, but something is missing. Do you feel as if you have fallen in love, but she seems is holding back?
Here are some steps to help you turn a casual relationship into a true love affair.
1. Choose wisely
There often is something missing in a relationship because one or both parties haven’t really chosen somebody that they click with. Maybe your best friend has tried to fix you up with his sister. She is beautiful, but something isn’t quite right. Falling in love goes beyond superficial attraction, so it is a waste of time to try to turn a fling into true love if the basic components aren’t there.
2. Identify the qualities that you find important
Take inventory of your value system. Are you looking for somebody with a high IQ or do you value somebody who has a lot of compassion (though these two things are not mutually exclusive). If you are religious, is it important that your partner is too? Are you a party animal looking for somebody who is fun-loving? Or do you prefer the quiet bookish type? By identifying the qualities you find important in a potential lover, you can help make sure that there is hope right from the beginning.
3. Understand what love is
If you want a girl to fall in love, you need to understand what love is. You can go on a romantic reading spree and devour the love poems of Shakespeare or simply look it up in the dictionary and watch a few chick flicks. Understanding true love will set the ground work for a successful campaign.
4. Know yourself
Women hate men who are fakes. Be yourself and if you have followed steps one to three, you will find somebody who is attracted to your true self. One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever heard was on a soap opera. A young man was advised to rate himself on a scale of one to ten and then go for a girl who was one or two points beneath him. Its worth considering that if you are not a ‘ten’ then you might not want to look for relationships with supermodels.
5. Listen actively
One thing that is irresistible to both men and women is a partner who is completely engrossed in what they are saying. Remember, when talking to your girl, to give both verbal and non verbal signals that you are listening to what she is saying. Look her in the eye, nod your head, lean forward, and touch her hand. She will feel that you really care about what she is saying and this forms a building block for love. You will get bonus points if you remember something that she has said in passing and surprise her with it later.
6. Welcome her into your world
If you are serious about somebody and you want them to fall in love with you, introduce her to your coolest friends and family. You need to be savvy here. If your parents have a completely dysfunctional relationship, don’t bring her home for dinner. Take her to meet a relative that reflects her interests. If she is creative, great-aunt Marsha, the octogenarian painter, would be a great choice.
7. Appreciate her
All women hate something about themselves. They may seem perfect to you, but inside, every girl has a hidden bit of self-doubt. If you want your girl to fall in love with you, learn quickly the things that she hates about herself and reassure her subtly about them. If you want to make a girl fall in love with you, appreciate the qualities that a woman loves about herself too. If she is proud of being musical, don’t just compliment her dress, compliment her play list on her iPod too.
8. Be a Fabulous Lover
Read books on how to be a good lover and don’t focus on your own pleasure. If you really want her to fall in love with you make sure that you take equal responsibility for birth control.
9. Give her Space
It is important to know when to sit back; most people have issues with self-esteem and if you are too eager, ultimately many women will think that there is something wrong with you.
Photo Credit: Metalnicole